10 Games to enjoy the holidays with friends and family
If you're looking to spend some quality time and get to know each other better, play these games instead of having awkward conversations
Is there any better feeling than picking the right game to play? Sussing out the right vibe that you think people willing to learn. The uncertainty teaching them the rules and the wait to see the verdict.
The real tell is when they make their first grunt of disappointment. It means they've bought into the game enough that they want things to go their way in the game. And then, finally, when they ask to play again later in the day or the next day.
This Thanksgiving I managed to pick a game that both of my parents enjoyed and asked to play again. The game in question was Reiner Knizia’s Don’t Llama, which I had heard about a bunch but never had the opportunity to play. It's the type of Reiner game1 that feels more like it was chiseled out of the math of the universe (Uno?) than it was designed. 10 being 4 more than 6 apparently is a big deal.2
My wife and I also played some Dandelions with, my first time playing with 3 players instead of 2. It holds up. And I maintain it has all of the vibes of the Aggravation but with good game design.
But I digress… onto our main topic.
What Should You Play These Holidays?
It’s holiday season, which means it’s time to play games with friends and family you’re only going to see once this year. And that typically means social games. Social games fill that gap between interacting with friends and family in fun ways… but providing the right guardrails so socializing doesn’t become an extended rant about… anything?
And as the certified game human (TM), people have a tendency to assume that the “lighter fare” leads to my personal disappointment. Like I would much rather be playing an extended session of Twilight Imperium.
This is. Wholly inaccurate. I bear no ill will towards the Monopoly’s and Apples to Appleses of the world. There’s really only one “game” that I despise.
Table Topics3
They have the pretense that if you merely ask these questions a fun and raucous experience will erupt out of the ether in which you will learn so much more about the people in your life. What you have actually purchased is a light paperweight with a modest pattern that will adorn your bookshelf until the end of time.4 It’s like believing that buying an engagement ring will give you the courage to ask someone on a date.
Nevertheless, in the last decade board games have hit a rich vein of design around social telepathy. Instead of asking a series of icebreakers, I’d invite you to come with me on a journey of metaphor, math, and madness.
The Magic Tricks
What the games I’m going to recommend manage to do is help you to mind meld with the people around you all through the power of suggestion and structure. These aren’t just social feel good fun games like Monikers or Cards Against Humanity. The gameplay feels uncertain but their conclusions feel thoroughly obvious but also tap into what we know our friends and family think. And almost all of these games have ended up with wonderful conversations that organically escape the boundary of the game. These games feel like a magical and new area of design that’s really focused on building togetherness and appreciation (through fun) that feels unreservedly new in the last 5 years especially. And all of them are incredibly easy to get a copy of!
Classifications
They all roughly fit into one of three categories: word games, numbers games, and concept games. The word games are about the power of association and reference. How can you get someone to think about the right (or the wrong!) word at the right time. The numbers games are about figuring out what values your compatriots hold without saying a word. And the concepts game are about share communication with images, gestures and plans.5
There were also three that just barely missed. I’ve heard very good things but they’re either hard to get a hold of, I don’t have direct experience to speak to or haven’t heard definitive praise enough to suggest them in a big way (if you’ve played any of them let me know what you think!):
And without further ado here are the 10 definitive games I believe will probably improve a holiday gathering with friends and/or family.
1. Wavelength
Starting with the best. Wavelength is a game about trying to get your friends to find the correct point on a spectrum (like Hot/Cold or Need/Want) with only a single word.
2. Just One
Just One! has another simple premise (you might notice a theme here), everyone (except for one person) knows a word and can give a one word clue to get them to guess it. The catch? If two people would give the same clue, neither gets to give it. The puzzle is triangulating what clue you think your friends will give.
3. So Clover!
So Clover! is basically the opposite of Just One!. You’re trying to get everyone else at the table (collaboratively) to figure out what pair of words led you to write “Cheesecake”. Because all of the words are connected to one another it creates this puzzle like feel.
4. Codenames
You have probably already heard of Codenames, but it’s so popular for a reason. The magic of trying to lead your team through a minefield of words with only a single word clue and a number if a powerful concept that’s easy to understand and does not quickly wear out it’s welcome.
5. Decrypto
Decrypto is tough. It is far and away the hardest easy game I’ve ever tried to describe to a group of people in my life. You have to start by explaining to people that you’re going to spend 10 minutes explaining rules, then you’re going to play a couple of practice rounds that they don’t understand, also oh by the way the first couple of rounds are kinda meaningless because everyone’s settling in. But when you hit round 5 (if you’ve made it) you are experiencing the delightful burn of trying to give a series of clues that your opposing team members will not decode but your team can, and getting to know a lot about the bounds and connections of your family’s knowledge. It’s a delight.
6. The Gang
Drily, everyone who starts describing this game says “you are playing cooperative Texas Hold ‘Em”. And you are. But the trick is that you’re trying to work together to order your hand rank from best to worst. Again without talking6. If you’re noticing a trend here, the whole not talking thing, you’re right. One of the pieces of magic of these games is that they actually restrict communication, which stops all of the usual silliness when it comes to banal, bland or easy outs.
And the gang gets that right. It captures the same vibe of moving chips around, of dealing, of making inferences.
7. The Mind
Another oldie but goodie. This is the simplest of the lot. You’re trying to play out the cards in your collective hands’ in order. Again without talking, at all. This one is chiller and only plays 2-4 people. Feels like the type of game I might’ve started with a couple of cousins while we waited for the adults to finish dinner, back when I was a kid. It’s so fast, but at the end when you get it to work feels incredible.
8. Wilmot's Warehouse
Wilmot’s Warehouse is another one of those “you just gotta trust me”. It’s a memory game (strike one) with escalating rules (strike two) and a time based component (strike three). But the game is so fast and free, and the magic trick it pulls off at the end when you successfully match the shapes correctly is so incredible that it is impossible not to be charmed.
9. Shifty Eyed Spies
You’ll notice the lack of a link above this game, that’s because it’s out of print. But I want to highlight it for the sheer chaos that playing it represents. (This one’s for me) The goal of the game is to use your eyes to figure out if you and another person at the table have a shared location, before someone else can suss you out. It creates the most unhinged intimacy I’ve ever experienced. Staring deeply into another person’s eyes in a public space to try to reach into their soul and determine if you can tell them (with your eyes) where you’re hiding.It’s impossible not to descend into giggles.
10. Sky Team
The only two player game on the list, this is certainly the most thinky and involved game. The task is simple, work together to land a plane by carefully placing dice to control the pitch, yaw, engines, etc. of the plane. The catch? You can’t talk once you’ve rolled your dice. But the choices are quick and the resolution is satisfying. And each turn is short enough that you still spend most of your time talking about plans between rounds than staring silently at each other. It is a quieter, more thoughtful game than the others, but the back and forth gives a surprisingly deep idea of how your partner problem solves.
What’s in a Game?
Most of the time, I don’t make specific recommendations about “games that do X”. Games are big and bright and beautiful and stuffing them into small boxes of what they’re “for” feels so silly and small. But something really magical has happened recently with design space around building closeness and appreciation through gameplay, and I think it’s worth highlighting.
If you try one and it ends up working out, let me know!
This likely means nothing to many of you, but Reiner Knizia is one of the most (maybe the most?) prolific board game designer in the industry. He retired as a financer and went on a tear producing an absolutely absurd number of borad games. He’s mostly known for auction games and other competitive number games.
This is a reference to the fact that the options for cards are 1→6 and 10. Which is the sort of subtle but meaningful gap you kind of expect from a Knizia.
I am, in fact, choosing not to link to them here.
Every time you decide to go get rid of it you will be caught by the pang of guilt that you might still learn more about your friends. Or maybe that’s just my imagination.
(That last one is a bit of a stretch but they didn’t fit anywhere else, so roll with me)
Or not talking about specific things.